Friday, May 10, 2013

The Best/Worst Book Covers

"The literary classic that inspired the epic video game."

Actually not bad as far as three-word alliterative summaries go. And if that ain't μῆνιν, I don't know what is.

Ah, then there's the arrant patriarchalism of the "let's make everything look like 'chicklit' because teenage girls won't read anything else" genre.

She looks like she may not be from the 1920's.

This looks strangely familiar.

As a scholar of medieval Christianity, I feel somewhat guilty for how much I laughed at this. Then again, there is no way Chaucer would've passed up this joke.

Shape your child's sexual identity, by requiring him to dress in identical plaid and bowl cut, and by always making sure to keep your genitals at eye-level while you speak to him.

But didn't he ask Eve to taste the 'fruit' of his 'forbidden tree'?

Is that a metronome in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

A near perfect academic pun. Not too much, funny, and accurate.

Likely the only time the word "posthuman" will ever appear in a Target.

Enter Bibliolis.

In fact, this cover is infinitely less bizarre than the actual book. Here's a wiki summary:

The mongoose attacks Arabella who shoots it to death. Arabella tears another mongoose apart with her hands. Arabella then murders Oolanga, the African servant, by dragging him down into a pit or hole. . . The White Worm has green glowing eyes and feeds on whatever is thrown to it in the pit. The White Worm ascends from the pit and seeks to attack Adam and Mimi Watford in a forest. Adam plans to pour sand into the pit and to use dynamite to kill the giant White Worm while it is inside the pit

. I'm sure psychoanalysts had themselves a heyday with this one.

With a work with as much imagery as the Divine Comedy, it's actually quite impressive that the artist chose one of the few animals that is mentioned nowhere (I'm working off of memory here so Danteans, please feel free to call me out if I'm wrong).

The horror, the horror!

I don't think this is what Austen meant by "Gothic."

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